Arrival

She was aching and moaning and dying.
The baby was never going to come out.
She said silent prayers and then she shouted prayers.
The world was spinning and blurry and blank.
Someone pulled back her hair because she looked
daunting and mad with locks hanging in front of her eyes.
Her husband went to the bathroom as she cried.
He cried too, in secret so no one could see.
The baby was never going to come out.
She sang hymns of desperation and hope.
Pushing then napping, pushing then napping,
offers of water and grapes faded in and out
as the line between life and death disappeared.

Her body, naked and huge, had no blush,
only thoughts of living past the rising of the sun.
Inside her a baby was bursting to see, hear, smell,
feel Mortality.
Finally, as the sun seeped through the window
this mother and father
met Life,
held Life and
loved Life.
And while family and friends waited to hear
that Life was finally here, someone
combed his hair, ate his breakfast and forgot
to kiss his wife goodbye.

After Jane was born, I tried to write down the experience of becoming a mother, but no words could describe it. When I wrote my creative thesis, I was finally able to create an expression of the morning Jane arrived that I was satisfied with, which is the above poem. Six years ago, Jane came into the world, strong and ready to add light wherever she went.

I am a huge Jane Austen fan and I love the Jane characters in Pride and Prejudice and in Jane Eyre. Jane Austen is smart, witty, and ambitious. Jane in P&P is compassionate and forgiving. Jane Eyre is strong, artistic and full of life. My Jane Bowman is all of these things, so I think the name fits perfect!

Jane loves her sisters fiercely, wants to be good and has been the epitome of compassion and forgiveness towards me–a terribly flawed mother. I am so grateful for Jane’s goodness and energy. She brings me so much! She loves Kindergarten most days and declared that recess and gym are her favorite “subjects”. I am loving being able watch her grow

Happy birthday Janie girl! I love you!