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“I want to go home!”

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Definition of Home
Marion and Maureen Panganiban Family Reunion 2017 (not pictured: Adell Simmons)

We have been in Utah for nearly two weeks and it has been filled with a lot of good memories, but memory-making comes at the cost of routine and sleep. When my girls and I are at home we have a tight schedule that we keep for good reason. Naps and quiet time are not just for me to have a break; my kids really need that time to rest. So, as we have been visiting friends and family and traveling back and forth between them and home-base at my mom’s house, my kids have not had their naps and if they did, it was at a home they were unfamiliar with. So, last night as we drove the hour to my mom’s house, my kids were completely strung out. I heard a lot of the following–in screaming form:

“I want my Coty (their dad).”
“Where’s my daddy?”
“I want to go home!”


I have thought about this since and I see a lesson. My kids needed rest and comfort from a long day of new people and places. We pushed the envelope of their mental, emotional and physical capacity by strapping them into car seats to drive for the tenth time that day. During this time of stress, they yelled for their dad and home…two things that would ease their burdens and bring them peace in an otherwise hectic day.

This made me realize just how important our homes are and what home really means. The definition of home that I have formulated lately is

a space to be our true selves and room to become better.

Our homes are literally havens (a place of safety or refuge). It made me feel good that my children yell out for home; that means that they feel that safety. I am also equally glad that they call out for their dad. In a world full of absent fathers, they know that they will find strong arms to hug them and tender kisses on the cheek from a man that sees them for who they are and who they will become.

I hope that every child of God has a place to rest from their cares–a place to call home.

Best,

Lucy

4 Ways to Find Your Style and a Simple Style Assessment

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I recently interviewed a few of my family members about some pain points for them in regards to decorating and designing their homes. I am excited to address some issues that are real and hopefully they will be helpful to you.

1. Recognize what really impresses you. Sometimes we don’t really take note about the things that we really like. One of the best pieces of advice I got before I started looking at homes was to be really observant of other people’s homes and pay attention when I saw homes online so that I could start to see what would bring me joy when I encountered it. Some places to find inspiration is in your friends and family’s homes, Pinterest, Instagram, Houzz and other websites dedicated to showcasing interiors. With social media today, it makes is super easy to start creating your own “vision board for your home”.
2. Take inventory. Many of us have not bought everything that has found a way to our home. Many things we inherit or were given, so some of these things are naturally not going to be your style. If it does not bring you joy to see it, sell, donate or gift it to someone that may really enjoy it. You can replace it with something that does bring you joy. This process of weeding out things that are not “you” and replacing them with pieces you love may be a slow process depending on your budget, but you will find that as you are deliberate about your decorating, your friends and family will recognize your style and start getting you things that fit. For example, I had a friend that bought me some really cute yellow lemon salt shakers for my kitchen. They were a perfect addition to my kitchen decorations and I didn’t even buy them. The sooner you start to find some consistency in your style, others will catch on too and help you get what you need.
3. Go shopping. I love to shop for my home, so this comes easily for me, but even if you don’t like to shop, you can go with the express purpose of just seeing what catches your eye. Do you always go over to a certain color? Do you love wood or a metal or both together? Are you into textures? Do you like the quirky, eclectic decor or do you stop to look at the traditional furniture? There are so many places to go shopping, but the obvious choices are places with a good variety of styles, so that you are not limited in finding your aesthetic.
4. Ask a friend or family member that you feel has this home decorating thing down and see how they figured it out. They may start to ask you the perfect questions. Since I am your friend, here are a few to ask yourself. Write down the answers and it may reveal your style.

Style Assessment

  • Which photograph do like better?
A.

4 Ways to Find Your Style and a Simple Style Assessment

 B.

4 Ways to Find Your Style and a Simple Style Assessment
(If you chose A, you may like darker, moodier interiors, or you at least like to add drama to contemporary spaces. You appreciate rich, deep colors.)
(If you chose B, you like bright, airy and open spaces. The more light and white, the better for you. You likely enjoy adding life and nature to the indoors with greenery and flowers.)
  • When you walk into a room, what do you notice first–how clean and organized the room feels or that there are a lot of cool things to look at?
(If you notice organization and cleanliness over the things in the room, you probably like a more minimalist space that is strategic vs having plenty to look at, but feeling overwhelmed by all the interesting things to look at.)
(If you notice the small details and like the variety and more is more look, you probably like a Bohemian or Modern glam because the space, while deliberate is filled and interesting and or beautiful.)
  • Which do you prefer?
A. Formal sofa and perfectly styled gold-lined coffee table
B. A bright and bold sofa with a colorfully patterned pouf
C. A wicker chair, warm blanket and a wooden trunk that was passed down through the family
D. A chaise lounge, a still portrait in a gilt frame on the wall and a grand vase of silk flowers
(A. Glam B. Eclectic or Bohemian, C. New Country/Rustic D. Traditional)
4 Ways to Find Your Style and a Simple Style Assessment
  • Which of these styles do you relate to the most? If you don’t know what one of these looks like simply put the word and then add interiors into a google search.

You can like more than one style, and many times, the ones you like can be combined. Emily Henderson has an awesome Style Wheel that helps you to see which styles can be combined without one overtaking the other. Like finding complementary colors on a color wheel, you want to choose styles that are across from each other on her color wheel to find your style’s complimentary partner.

4 Ways to Find Your Style and a Simple Style Assessment
So, do you feel like you might have an idea of what style you prefer for your home? I hope you do and if you don’t, I hope you will take the time to figure it out.
Remember that you can always change your mind. Your style can change as you grow, but don’t change what you love to fit just what is popular in the moment. You will love your home a lot longer if you are true to yourself, despite trends. Let your house be another way that you express your best and authentic self!
Best,
Lucy Jo

Learning to Give my Best

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Learning to Give my Best
Brooklyn taking a nap with her blanket on her grandma.
Yesterday, while a bunch of adults were visiting during our family reunion, I watched as Brooklyn kept offering her baby cousin her most prized possession in the world…her blankie. This moment stuck with me because Brooklyn rarely is seen without this beloved blanket. She carries it around sunshine or rain, wide awake or fast asleep, smiles and cries. Her blanket is a special thing to her and she doesn’t freely give it to anyone, so when she offered it to her sweet seven month old cousin, I knew it was special. Children are so good at loving and Brooklyn taught me that when we really love someone, we give them our best. 
I have realized over time that the people we love the most get the worst and the best of us, mostly because they are always there, but our job is to try to have our best moments out-number our worst. I, like Brooklyn, want to offer those I love something special and uniquely mine to give. 
What can you offer those you love?
Do the people you love get the best version of you?
What could you more willingly give?
Here’s to offering our “blankies” to those we cherish most. 
Best,

Lucy 

On the Wisdom of Marriage

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Marriage: Cody's Wisdom
A fun date night riding bikes.

I have a problem with shopping sales, or maybe it is just shopping in general. ;|

Yesterday I went to Target with the intention of getting an organizer for the toys in the basement. I always go in with a purpose, but as soon as I start seeing things I love, I loose sight of the goal very quickly. My cart quickly filled with four throw pillows and a stool for our kitchen peninsula. If I had not had any self-control, or a lack of space in my cart, I would have added a clock, a mirror, a rug and lots of wicker baskets to the cart as well. So, I walked around Target’s home section for probably 45 minutes and then…I called Cody.

I have made it a habit to call Cody before I make large purchases because deep down I know he will steer me in the right direction. We both do the budget and we both have our personal weaknesses when it comes to spending money (my man and his tools), but in this circumstance I was feeling very weak.

The justification monster creeps in while I shop. My train of thoughts:

It is 15% off today, plus I could use my Target card and get an extra 5% off. 
I might not be able to find this print later.
We can make the budget work.
You better call Cody!


The phone conversation went a little like this.

Me: So, I found some really great pillows that will look great in the basement. And I found an extra stool for the peninsula.

Cody: How much is this all going to cost?

Me: Silence………………around 100 dollars.

Cody: Lucy, we need to draw the line somewhere. We have been spending a lot of money on finishing the basement.

Me: Silence……………….ok.

To my credit, I only walked around continuing to decide for about five minutes more. 😜 I placed the carefully selected throw pillows and stool and left the store with nothing, including the storage system I had actually come for and groceries that I really didn’t have a list for.

I was dejected. I came home, not to my credit, adult style pouting. I had thoughts like


Why can’t I ever get anything new? (This is a totally illogical thought considering buy new things monthly if not weekly.)


I don’t want to wait to get everything. (Another non-sensical, too absolute, thought).


I squirm in my seat as I write these selfish thoughts out loud. It is not easy to admit your faults to others, especially to people you want to see you as a good person, but I write the truth so maybe someone can relate. I hope I am not the only one who has selfish thoughts now and again.

Cody eventually noticed that I was sad and upset after I got home, and I eventually shared my pent up frustrations about not being able to buy a large portion of Target in one trip. He listened and then shared some pieces of wisdom that I really needed and appreciated:

“You need to find joy in the process instead of feeling like you have to have everything right now. There will always be something you want even after you get what you want. Getting things just makes you want more things. When we were in college we said when we were done with school we would be happy. When we got a job we said when we buy a house we will be happy. We need to be happy right now.”

I needed these reminders! I needed my mind to settle back to gratitude, contentment, my real goals in life and patience. Cody has always been a model of these attributes, and I am so thankful that he slows my rushing, calms my nerves and clears my racing mind.

Yesterday I went from feeling frustrated that Cody limited me, but by the end of the day, I saw the real wisdom of marriage. Our partner in life can balance us, ground us, motivate us and keep us safe. I normally share what I learn from my children on Tuesday, but today I wanted to share what I learned from my good husband.

I have so much to be thankful for. I hope you can see blessings all around you today. Have a fun and safe Independence day my friends!

Best,
Lucy