I have an amazing student in my class who, despite her challenges, has been able to cope with a new learning style, being away from family and life in a new country. She recently wrote a personal essay in which she highlighted the changes that have occurred during this semester. She was stressed, confused and frustrated at the beginning of the semester, but by the end of the semester she was telling her mother that she was “Busy, but good.” I feel the same way. Before I started this semester I truly wondered how I would get through it. With my graduate classes, teaching English, two-year-old Jane, Cody and his schooling, and my calling I figured I would live a hermit existence and probably do everything horribly. Thankfully, I have learned that with the Lord I can accomplish much more than I thought possible.
Tonight, as I was reading and writing a position paper, Jane was underneath my desk ripping papers and hiding from Cody, who was trying to put her to bed. I glanced around my room: bedding is in the dryer because Jane spilled water on it; laundry is piled in the corner; books are strewn everywhere; there are small bits of paper around my feet from Jane and I won’t even describe Cody’s desk and dresser area. From this observation I had a distinct flashback to when I was pregnant with Jane. My room was spotless and I sat at my desk in perfect serenity, reading or writing uninterrupted (expect when I got hungry). Life had been so tidy then. I was in control. Now…things are not so tidy; I rarely have control, and I am still happy. I didn’t think it was possible, but it is. I am busy and sometimes bothered, but I am good. I am thankful that when we relinquish our best-laid plans we are actually handing them in for the plans that are best, that will bring joy because it is hard and requires we have faith. God is good and so is my life.