It has been a good break.
Mexican potluck and caroling with friends here in Wisconsin.
Delivering cookie plates
Christmas Eve seven layer bean dip and crackers and chicken salad
Jane got sick
New Years Eve pansit (traditional Filipino dish) I went to bed at 9:30 pm with the girls. Cody made it until midnight.
A day in Green Bay…tour of Lambeau Field–the home of the Green Bay Packers.
Although these are the things we did, the best part of the break for me was having Cody home for so long. Almost everything we did, we did together. While we were spending time together we talked a lot about goals we have for the coming year and in the future. We have dreams of owning a home and land soon, paying off school loans, being more prepared temporally and spiritually and doing more for others.
I had a day of daydreaming over the break too. I had some business ideas and discussed them with my brother. He encouraged me and I started to really look into it. That day I wasn’t attentive to my family and I saw a difference in the quality of the day. I am reminded time and time again that I need to focus on my family. It is really hard sometimes to delay my ambitions to care for my family, and I will continue to be reminded not to kick against the pricks. I have so many more things I want to do in my life, but I have found that when I push my agenda, life gets harder than it needs to be. Cody has said that if I am not stressed out with a full schedule I am not happy, but I can report that I have been doing very well being stressed out raising two little girls….just kidding…I am not always stressed out. In all seriousness though, I do feel like I am not doing enough being a mom. It sounds so terrible as I consider it, but I do feel that way. I have a Masters degree in English and I have not specifically used it as of yet. I keep telling myself that I will, but I still feel like I am letting myself off too easily. Can I do more? The honest answer is yes. I know I can do more because I did more when Jane was little. I was working, going to school, fulfilling my church calling, raising my daughter, helping Cody with his schooling and trying to fit in everything else somewhere AND I was STRESSED. I had a sore on my mouth (I know, gross. I thank Cody for that curse) every three months and went to bed with a migraine weekly; I was a mess most of the time and I was counting down the days when I could slow down and have some stability. So the other honest answer is no, I can’t do more. I choose to enjoy Maurie’s sweet tiny face and her smallest achievements, prepare healthy meals for my family, enjoy my hour of “quiet time” each day and be okay with writing on my blog as my publishing accomplishment. I will do all that I can do to accomplish my goals without sacrificing my best goal of raising a happy, healthy family and being happy and healthy myself. I hope that if there is a mom out there feeling like they are not enough, they will remember what really matters. The world doesn’t always value mothers, but that does not mean it is not important. Actually, there are a lot of important things that the world does not value anymore.
I’m sorry that I always start talking about being a mom, but that is what I am right now. Enjoy your day!